Deb's Inner Monologue

Best O' The UniMemes

2012-02-11T20:41:00.021-04:00

I've been sick (yes again) and in the house for three days straight. I'm a bit loopy from lack of sunlight, electrolytes, and human contact. I just discovered that universities all over the world are creating Facebook meme pages. It's already played out if it's hit Macleans, but I found a few that were worth sharing from LU:

(full disclosure: that was me.)

There are a million Persinger ones, but that one was my favourite!

Sadly there was only one good one for Dal:

So I made them some:

Then I made some more referring specifically to SIM. There was much to love about SIM, but I did have two small quibbles:

...and then I did some about my job:

....aaaaaand then I thought I'd just do a few more because I can....

....but there is too much of a good thing, and eventually memes get stupid (said everyone: "eventually?!!").

So it's time to call it a day.

Haha! Internet humour! Lulz!!!

[crickets and tumbleweed]

I'll just stop now.

We accept her! One of us!

2012-01-30T00:06:00.003-04:00

Etiquette dictates that even though it was on the Jumbotron you still have to wait until it hits Facebook, and it's officially up there, so I'm happy to report that Tom and Cheryl are engaged! Yay!!!

PS - the Petes lost 5-2 to the Generals but because it was Cheryl's special day I won't begrudge it.

"Xbox!": A Play in Two Acts

2012-01-19T21:34:00.003-04:00

ACT ONE

Scene: living room, evening. Casually dressed couple, Will and Deb, lounge on couches. There are snacks.

Will: Want to watch Top Gear?

Deb: Sure.

Will: xbox.

the Xbox does not respond

Will: xbox!

the Xbox does not respond

Will [sitting forward on couch]: Xbox!!

Deb: Xbox!

Will: XBOX!

Deb: XBOX!!

the Xbox does not respond

Will [cupping hands around mouth]: XBOOOOOOOOOOOOOX

~end scene~

intermission

ACT TWO

Scene: Will is in the kitchen. Deb is using the computer in the living room. No one is paying any attention to the xbox.

Will: do you want a smoothie?

xbox brings up web results for Bruno Mars

~end scene~

Behold! We created something weird! And then ate it!

2011-12-28T20:07:00.008-04:00

Look at this thing. Just LOOK at it.

It is the stuff of legend; a mythic beast shrouded in mystery...and bacon.

It is the Turducken.

What you see before you is a marvel of engineering and culinary skill, requiring time, twine, and bucketloads of stuffing.

The ingredients are as follows:

one large turkey, deboned
one medium duck, deboned
one decent sized chicken, deboned

Stuffing:
three loaves of bread, torn into little bits (we used cracked wheat)
three celery stalks
one onion
one apple
poultry spice
garlic pepper spice
four slices crisp bacon

Will bought the birds fresh and deboned them ahead of time. I tore up the bread to let it dry out, chopped up the celery, onion, apple and bacon and fried it up in advance. On the day of the feast we mixed up the stuffing, laid out the turkey skin side down, put on a layer of stuffing, repeated for the duck and chicken, and twined it up. It was 14 pounds and took 4.5 hours to cook in a 325 degree oven, breast down. After it sat for 20 minutes or so it was ready to carve. There was leftover stuffing that we cooked seperately with chicken broth. There were plenty of pan drippings and, per Sawyer tradition, a healthy dash of chili powder added to the gravy.

General consensus: pretty good. The meat was super tender and yummy and it was fun to carve because you just slice right through like a roast. Those who got duck breast meat thought it was delicious; those who got duck back meat did not. There was too much bread in the stuffing and not enough other stuff - two loaves of bread would have sufficed. Those without my particular dietary restrictions would have benefited from more garlic involvement; because this is originally a Cajun recipe the stuffings are traditionally much spicier. We could have also bumped up the bacon content for some extra flavour. But it fed 11 people heartily with some bits left over and tasted great with cranberry sauce, which is really all you need for a good holiday meal.

The big question: would we do it again? Possibly. I think all things considered I'd be just as happy to get rid of the duck altogether and sub in bacon or ham. Mom suggested next year we try a turbrisgefilt - turkey, brisket and gefilte fish. I said no.

Fun With Boogers

2011-11-18T23:07:00.005-04:00

My colleagues of the male persuasion are all growing moustaches. Richard's is the finest of the staches - it is lush and full, just like Magnum PI's, and the others are visibly jealous of it. We were taking pictures of them last Monday and I noticed that Richard had a visible booger, so I told him he had "a bat in the cave". He'd never heard that phrase before and thought it was hilarious.

Today in the lunch room he was walking over to the fridge when he started rearing back for a huge sneeze. I stepped back and out of the way as he grabbed a paper towel and covered his nose. When he let the sneeze go, something huge and black landed on the floor.

It was a bat finger puppet.

I died laughing.

Stephen Root: An Appreciation

2011-11-04T20:52:00.004-03:00

I just don't think Stephen Root gets enough love in this world. So here's me doing my part to spread the joy.

First: Bill.

Second: Milton.

Third: my beloved Jimmy James.

And finally, as if by magic, all three at once. Start at the 1:20 minute mark.

Joy!!

Derby Name Finalists

2011-09-25T22:56:00.003-03:00

Thanks for the suggestions everybody! Special props to the Vidas for the sheer volume. A lot of your suggestions have already been taken, but the following are still available. Feel free to vote for your favourite!

The Mann In Black

Medusa

Very Bad Mann

Mann of the People

Malarkey

Derby Nameless

2011-09-19T13:31:00.004-03:00

Yep, I'm a derby girl.

I did my first roller derby practice last night and I think I'm hooked. It's more fun than is decent. And the best part is that my body type is actually HELPFUL in this sport, which is nicer than having to work around it constantly.

Later this week I'll go get my equipment and derby clothes, and I would prefer to have a derby name all sewed up before I go, so that I can customize my gear to my persona.

Which is why I'm turning to you, few remaining people who still read blogs. I need suggestions. Help me name myself. The name should be entertaining, easy to yell/chant from the stands, and extra points if you can incorporate some sort of pun or cleverness.

Bring it!!

Summer Recap

2011-08-31T21:33:00.003-03:00

What I did on my summer vacation:

got garage doors that open, close, and do not hold up a floor
worked excessively
acted as 'official person who can bend over and pick things up off the floor' after Will wrecked his back
signed up for roller derby
went to Karl and Sonya's wedding, enjoyed Groom Karaoke
became a regular visitor to the new farmers' market at the Y
got a copy of Mah Book (at LAST)
cooked a very large chunk of meat over a fire on a homemade spit at Tatachikapika and then ate it for THREE DAYS STRAIGHT
hit up the Goss family reunion, where the great-aunts all do jello shots
bought a pair of red Converse shoes
saw my dad in a suit for the first time this millennium
am preparing to begin work on a certificate program in adult education
developed a short-lived but intense addiction to turkey pepperettes
moved a huge mountain of dirt to various spots on the lawn; pulled out trees with the pulaski, our bare hands, the truck, a stout chain, and Tom from next door
met Reid, who is lovely (and clearly advanced in every possible way)

What I most certainly did NOT do on my summer vacation:

blog

This happened a quarter of a century ago

2011-06-12T00:08:00.001-03:00

Let me say that again - a QUARTER of a CENTURY ago.

Enjoy!

Victory!!

2011-06-06T12:31:00.004-03:00

For a year now I've been privately seething, gnawing in my guts even, over the regrettable events of last year's Spin the Lakes 50 km bike race. Longtime readers will know that despite training very hard and adhering to a strict chicken-based reward system, I had to drop out at Kilometer 7 due to a malfunctioning [redacted] - and I wasn't being a wuss, I actually had to go to the hospital and get the [redacted] afterwards - and ever since I've had a bike-race-failure-monkey on my back.

The good news is that redemption has finally arrived. We completed the 50 km Becel Ride for Heart yesterday. And some money went to a great cause too, which makes it doubly nice. So now I feel happy of myself (like this other notable cycling enthusiast) and am readying to do it all again next year.

Highlights of the day:

Will repeating "It's not a RACE, Deb. It's a RIDE. Pace yourself!" Clearly he has never met me.
There were a bunch of kids there, but none cuter than the little guy on his bike with training wheels
Going under the Bloor Street viaduct - twice! - and seeing the elephant solar planters up-close
I don't know who the band was, but they played an awesome funk medley as I enjoyed my post-race snackies

now THIS is physics

2011-05-25T21:45:00.003-03:00

I got more entertainment out of this 9 minute video than I've gotten out of two entire seasons worth of Glee:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muVfidujxRg

Wherein Deb's Summer Job From Six Years Ago Pays Unexpected Dividends

2011-05-11T11:58:00.008-03:00

About 6 years ago, Melissa and I worked with Matt Bray (who is a really terrific guy, and a great prof) on a book about the history of Science North. He wrote the main narrative text, and we wrote a whole bunch of sidebars about features of the place, specific events, controversies, etc. I expected that our contributions would be massaged into the whole, and that maybe down the line we'd get a free copy and if we were really lucky a note in the acknowledgements. And that would sincerely have been enough, because it was one of the best summer jobs I ever had. We got to interview people, do "research" in the field (can't write about IMAX unless you've seen the projector being loaded) and generally have a great time.

So years went by, and I pretty much forgot about it until I got a frantic phone call from Melissa a few weeks ago. The CEO of Science North was stepping down, and before he did he wanted to get the book to press. Matt did some updates for currency but the sidebars were intact, and we were getting publication credit. LIKE ON THE COVER CREDIT.

Last Friday, we went to the book launch. And it was amazing. The full run of the books hadn't been completed so I don't yet OWN a copy, but I got to sign a few official copies, which was somewhat awkward but still cool. You can see some generic press pics here, and if Melissa sends me any more good ones I'll post them too.

Barely suppressed squee!

Poudre Douce

2011-05-08T20:24:00.002-03:00

(programming note - those of you expecting an update on the Super Exciting Events Of Last Friday will have to wait until I get pics because we forgot to bring the camera. Instead, Deb's Inner Monologue is pleased to present this brief treatise on spice mix. No, really.)

So a couple of weeks ago Marilyn from work held an Epicure party. I'd never been to one before, and I like food, so I figured it was a win-win. While there, several of us became obsessed with a product called Poudre Douce. There wasn't any to sample, but the descrptions were as follows:

"A delicate 14th century French blend. Sprinkle on fruit, baking, breakfast foods and desserts"

"Try this sweet, fragrant blend in baking and desserts. Sprinkle on hot cereals, fresh fruit, and coffee, or add to roasted vegetables and meat pies."

Sweet? Fragrant? Meat pies?! SOLD. Roberta and I both decided to get some and put it to the test. Since then she's used hers in apple sauce and fruit crisp, and reports that it is a delight. Tonight I made a very tasty maple vinaigrette with poudre douce and served it on a salad of green leaf lettuce, smoked gouda and blackberries. I've also got it in my cappuccino instead of cinnamon and it tastes fantastic.

I can't really explain it - it's almost like mild chai spice. Apparently (according to the fine folks at Food.com) the exact recipe for Poudre Douce isn't set it stone and varied by location, but ginger, clove, cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves sound about right.

Any suggestions as to what I should do next with my poudre douce?

Scared, but not TOO scared, please

2011-04-04T20:35:00.003-03:00

Here's my quandary. Back in 2001 I read about this crazy scary horror flick from Japan called Pulse. The fanboys on AICN were raving about one scene in particular that was THE most scary thing they'd ever seen. Now I am wicked scared of ghosts to the point of drooling, so this made an impression. For the last ten years I've kept hearing this scene mentioned over and over and over again. At this point it's almost scarier in my head than it would be on screen. It just got the "Scenic Routes" treatment on AV Club, and I'm dying of curiosity.

The problem is that you can't unsee something. If I watch it now, and it really IS that scary, it's in my head forever. But if I don't watch it, it's going to get bigger and scarier in my head (see also: Franklin Expedition).

Which is why I am appealing to you. Go watch the scene, and then come back and tell me in the comments if it's as bad as they all say. As a measuring stick, I can tell you that Ring didn't particularly scare me, but I haven't been able to handle even short clips of The Exorcist. Should I watch or pass?

Nice touque, eh?

2011-03-30T23:56:00.002-03:00

Hoser Ingenuity

2011-03-17T22:50:00.003-03:00

How do you move a large stainless steel tank up a rough path? On skis, of course. We pulled it behind the ATV, with four of us running along side like presidential bodyguards. Smart, huh?

The Song Meme

2011-03-05T21:22:00.017-04:00

I was shoulder-surfing Facebook one night this week and noticed that Rob was working his way though the song meme - a different song for every day of the month. As is my wont, I'm dragging it over to the monologue and doing it all in one shot. Some of these might be familiar as I did discuss songs and how they affect the brain in a previous post. Pardon the repetition, and also the gratuitous use of the term "album".

day 01 - your favourite song

I don’t have an all-time favourite really, so I’ll just substitute with my favourite song right now – Sigh No More by Mumford and Sons. There are a few things about this song that play directly into my wheelhouse: acoustic instruments (esp. squeezebox), rough harmonies that aren't produced and polished, and a wicked uplift starting at about the 1:48 mark. Also, I'm a sucker for any sort of stomping song or song that I can enthusiastically jump along to, lacking as I am in dance skills. This is on repeat in my car.

day 02 – a song you hate

Single Ladies. No link to it, y'all know how it goes anyway. HATE.

day 03 – a song that makes you happy

Moves, New Pornographers. This was my happy song all last summer, and it's enjoying a recent upswing on my personal soundtrack after they made a delightful video to go with. Coincidentally, I too hear music in my head and need to get it out. And I never tire of that drum slip-up at the 2:51 mark.

day 04 – a song that makes you sad

Scared At Night, Kathleen Edwards. This song guts me every time...that last verse. The first time I heard it I was driving along 7th line on the way home from work and I nearly had to pull over I was crying so hard. Side note: this is the prettiest song ever to feature a gruesome cat death.

day 05 – a song that reminds you of someone

Strong, Strong Man, Rick Astley. Really, any Rick Astley song reminds me of Anne. That's not a dis either - they're all really fun memories. Case in point: "Deb, could you kill a man?". Good times, good times.

day 06 – a song that reminds of you of somewhere

Come On Feel The Illinoise, Sufjan Stevens. This is about Chicago but to me it is a Halifax song, through and through. I miss living close to the ocean.

day 07 - song that reminds you of a certain event

Out Come Stars, Odds. Will and I were driving through Quebec looking for a place to stop for the night. It was nearly midnight, and we were at that stage of travel where the headlights get kind of hazy and your eyes are fixed straight ahead and the music suddenly seems too loud. We took a sideroad on a whim and found ourselves driving through a tiny town, every house dark, past big silent churches, no light for miles except for our headlights and the stars as this song played. It was kind of magical.

day 08 – a song that you know all the words to

American Pie, Don McLean. It was nice to find this in Dad's vinyl collection - it's so much better with hiss and pop. For the record, my prom date had a pink carnation and a pickup truck.

day 09 – a song that you can dance to

What a Wonderful World, Louis Armstrong. I'm guaranteed exactly one dance at every wedding from Will, and this song is it. I've linked to the only acceptable cover version of the song.

day 10 – a song that makes you fall asleep

Blew It Again, Blue Rodeo. I actually have a playlist called Go To Sleep, and I never get past this song. Granted, it's track 7, but it's the one that always does the trick. So slow and dreamy.

day 11 – a song from your favorite band

River On Fire, Adam Again. It's not the band, it's Gene Andrusco, my favourite dead songwriter. There aren't a whole lot of Christian artists that still resonate for me now, but I really love the album Dig and especially this track.

day 12 – a song from a band you hate

I don't feel like doing the thinking involved in answering this question so I'm treating it as a wild card. Enjoy this song that I love instead.

day 13 – a song that is a guilty (pleasure?)

End Of The World As We Know It, REM. I will also accept the cover by Great Big Sea. I always sing along phonetically up until "Down! Your! Neck!" and "I! Decline!" This might have also counted for song that reminds you of an event, as it always takes me back to that glorious afternoon at Head of the Trent in 1995.

day 14 – a song that no one would expect you to love

Great Wide Open, Tom Petty. Kind of a generic song really, not one that someone would ardently love, and yet I do. So much. At least 90% of that love is directed towards the chord change after the line "under them skies of blue". Also, the video is fun.

day 15 – a song that describes you

I can't really think of anything original for this one, but two songs come to mind by artists I've already namechecked - I'm Satisfied by Odds, about the joys of the simple life ("Hit the lights, Mr. Grim Reaper!") and Scenic Routes by Lost Dogs, about taking the road less traveled.

day 16 – a song that you used to love but now hate

I'm not overly fond of this song anymore, but I do love this version.

day 17 – a song that you hear often on the radio

Shake Me Down seems to be playing whenever I turn on the radio. Timing, I guess.

day 18 – a song that you wish you heard on the radio

For a while, Dog Days Are Over was playing on the radio as I got out of work on my weekly late shift, and I always thought it was nice to drive home to. It's a nice chaser after an evening of rowdy teen taming.

day 19 – a song from your favorite album

Starlings, Randy Stonehill. I can divide my musical tastes into two distinct categories - before Return to Paradise and after. All of my musical DNA is on that album. Everything that gets me now - see entry one - was planted here, 22 years ago. I love that he can't leave a stretch of music alone without filling it with vocals of some sort. I love his guitar playing, the depth and richness of the acoustic instruments in the arrangement, and the emotion in, if not the quality of, his voice. This used to be one of my lullabye standards for Tom and Sarah, along with a few other tracks off the album - True Blood, Weight of the Sky and This Friend of Old. Kind of dark songs for youngsters, but they're in my range and I can sing the hell out of them.

day 20 – a song that you listen to when you’re angry

Anything fast and aggressive. Ramones in their entirety would work for this one. Also, incongruously, We Will Still Need A Song by Hawksley Workman. For those of you doing a drinking game based on how many songs on this list involve squeezeboxes, arrange a ride home.

day 21 – a song that you listen to when you’re happy

Tighten Up, Black Keys. One of my favourite albums of recent years. I love the whole thing, but especially this song. It's also in my range so it's a singalong favourite.

day 22 – a song that you listen to when you’re sad

We Used To Wait, Arcade Fire. There's no way you can stay down after hearing this song. You gotta move through the pain...and also sing the chorus again.

day 23 – a song that you want to play at your wedding

New Words Of Love, Lost Dakotas. We didn't have a dance at our wedding, and I've already included our official song, but this is a close second for me. I can't see a link for this one online but it's on one of several cassettes I keep moving from house to house. And hey - is that SQUEEZEBOX I hear on that track? Drink! Drink! Drink!

day 24 – a song that you want to play at your funeral

This is a funny question - I actually think about this all the time. And recently I did think of the perfect song and then promptly forgot it. So my fallback is Everyone by Van Morrison (shades of Royal Tenenbaums, I know). I just want people leaving in a happy frame of mind and this song is good for that.

day 25 – a song that makes you laugh

Truck Got Stuck, Corb Lund. It's the asides that kill me.

day 26 – a song that you can play on an instrument

Bad Moon Rising, natch.

day 27 – a song that you wish you could play

Piano Sonata No. 8 in C minor ('Pathétique') Op. 13- 2 is the song that sank my piano career. I am filled with regret that my hands could not have been stretchier.

day 28 – a song that makes you feel guilty

Hurt, Johnny Cash. I didn't make it to my grampa's bedside before he died. He was my champion. When I saw this video I was floored by how much Johnny Cash resembled my grampa at the end. It's a gut punch every time.

day 29 – a song from your childhood

Get Off Of My Cloud, Rolling Stones. This was a Deb-Dad specialty. We did it callback-style and at least one of us had dance moves to go with. Also acceptable here would be Wild Thing, or as my brother called it when he was small, Wild Fing.

day 30 – your favorite song at this time last year

All Time Doll, Elvis Costello. Great album, great song.

That's it! Hope you enjoyed.

New Years Eve

2011-01-16T21:28:00.008-04:00

Never got around to posting these - Will's brother's friend produces the big NYE show in Toronto, and this year we volunteered to go and hand out the balloons (from on stage!) during the last commercial break. Here are a few photos:

Dave was The Talent.

People were packed in tight. We got to stand near the Drunk Tank and out of the crowd.

We had a great vantage point for the fireworks.

Check out those production values, y'all.

Yay!! More Weddings!!

2011-01-05T22:59:00.006-04:00

Sarah and Bryan are officially (read: hardware exchanged) engaged. Let the bells ring and the banners fly!! How cute are they?!

Never Underestimate Their Sneakiness

2010-12-28T23:39:00.003-04:00

Congratulations to Craig and Christy, who invited us all to their engagement party and then just went on ahead and got married. Best secret surprise wedding ever!

Merry Christmas

2010-12-26T22:50:00.002-04:00

Conditions under which it might be possible to rollerskate in a buffalo herd

2010-12-18T21:06:00.005-04:00

when "herd" is defined as more than one, but less than three
herd is penned on a hard, flat, pebble-free surface
no more than one buffalo per square mile of buffalo paddock
you are just super fast about it
buffalo are tranquilized
you own all-terrain roller skates with large cushy wheels
you are not Johnny Knoxville

(I'm on a bit of a Roger Miller kick)

Hiss and Pop

2010-12-12T20:17:00.005-04:00

We've recently repatriated Dad's vinyl collection from storage at Gramma's place. There were quite a few albums that got broken in the early 80s and we're missing a sleeve or two, but what's left is still pretty good.

Alas, the one I loved the best was one of the ones that broke. Fortunately for us and the magic of YouTube, we can all enjoy this little gem of a song. Extra credit if you can picture my 4-year-old self rocking out to this. You're welcome.

The Best Worst Show

2010-11-26T14:32:00.007-04:00

Without a doubt - Misfits of Science.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PcXYrODO8UI&feature=related

Check it out - all the ingredients of success. Dean Martin's son, the guy who played Predator (and was married to Olivia from Sesame Street, no less), the substitute drummer from The Band who was playing the night Dylan went electric (but you may remember him from Home Improvements), a guy who used to be the doorman at CBGB before becoming a sketch writer for SNL, ALF's dad, and Monica Geller. They join forces because they have "human anomalies", aka superpowers, which helps them solve crimes and stop science-related shenanigans. 80's style entertainment ensues.

Check out these episode synopses, courtesy of Wikipedia - I can't make this stuff up:

"Three senior citizens end up with super-powers from irradiated hamburgers, and the Misfits have to both help them out and restrain them from injuring themselves. "

"The bad guys manipulate the Misfits into helping them unleash a plague on Los Angeles with the aid of a contaminated bunny rabbit."

"A marine biologist and friend of Billy's who works with dolphins believes they can talk, making him the target of drug smugglers who need the help of his dolphin friends to recover a sunken cache of cocaine."

My favourite character was the Ice Man, so named because (and again, not making this up) in his grief over the loss of Amelia Earhart he put himself into cryogenic chamber. He came out to help solve crimes but would die if he thawed out too much, so that's why the Misfits had to drive around in an ice cream truck. His only line of dialogue, as I recall, was "AMEEEELIIIAAAAA!!!!", which he repeated endlessly.

This was my first 'appointment television' experience - I quit AWANAs so that I could stay home and watch this show. Sadly, it didn't stand a chance in its timeslot against Dallas, and Dean Paul Martin ,who played Dr. Billy, died when he crashed his F-4 Phantom fighter jet into a mountain in a snowstorm; his other career was working as a California Air National Guard pilot.

While noodling around teh interwebs this afternoon I discovered that there are entire episodes up on YouTube, and I'm torn. I don't know if I should leave my happy memories intact or watch them and be disappointed. Either way, I think it's cool that after 25 years I still could sing along to the opening credits.

UPDATE - okay, now I HAVE to watch it - and you have to listen to how the show is introduced in this clip. They use the word "Radical" unironically!! 80s Overload!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMXzG1cQHcg

Suggestions as to how Will woke up with a bleeding puncture wound on his nose that do not include "Deb Did It In Her Sleep"

2010-11-15T10:19:00.004-04:00

1. Rampaging Unicorn
2. Bed Narwhal
3. Miniscule bite by a bug of some sort - spider, bedbug, etc.
4. Teensy one-fanged Nose Vampire
5. Amazonian blowgun hunter (Will: "But I didn't hear the 'pwah'." Ian: "Maybe he was using a silencer.")
6. Confused woodpecker
7. Deb did it on purpose and while awake

The world may never know...

What they don't teach you in school

2010-10-25T17:46:00.005-03:00

Our friend's son had the following advice for his sister to ease her transition into junior kindergarten:

"Don't be bossy. Don't suck your thumb - you'll get teased. Don't kiss anyone, and don't share you food."

Love it!!!

Oh, hi Mark.

2010-10-23T18:23:00.002-03:00

Here's my earworm du jour. I'll admit it's odd to enjoy a movie I've never seen beginning to end this much. But that hasn't stopped me from listening to this all week:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMH8vNhz9QI

Why Lisa, why? Why?!

The Juicy Fruit Utopia/Dystopia Continuum

2010-10-05T15:30:00.002-03:00

Aaron and I (if memory serves) came up with the JFU/DC theory in high school to try and explain how something as delicious as a fresh piece of Juicy Fruit can taste so delicious, but only for a maximum of 5-10 seconds, after which point it saps your will to live. Seems The Oatmeal agrees:

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/juicy_fruit

NSFW, natch, but nice to see some agreement on this point.

The Funniest Thing Ever

2010-09-06T00:21:00.004-03:00

My mother in law told us that her mom always cut pies into 6 pieces, and because there were 5 people in the family her mom made a chart to determine who would get the extra piece.

I`m going to give you a moment to digest that.

There was a PIE CHART.

Marshall Erikson would find that dee - - wait for it - - lightful. Delightful!

This would have been REALLY cool...

2010-08-30T21:47:00.002-03:00

...if Google Maps Street View could manage to get the location my childhood home right.

Give it a shot - see if it works better for you!

http://www.thewildernessdowntown.com/

This is my vroooomstick

2010-08-19T00:05:00.006-03:00

We are THISCLOSE to finalizing the purchase of our new (to us) car. And of course, because I find it necessary to name all vehicles after celebrities, I present the cheesily awesome...

...Bruce Campbell.

William H. Macy will be retired on Monday, and shall be sorely missed.

A Remarkable Occurrence

2010-08-08T00:19:00.001-03:00

Security guard checking ID at the casino: hey - stop for a second. How old are you?

Deb (in disbelief): Thirty six.

Security guard (sheepish): oh, OK. Go ahead.

Deb's mom (wailing): You didn't ask meeeee!!

Deb: [uncontrollable laughter]

Happy Camper

2010-08-07T17:29:00.002-03:00

Will took us to Mississagi, his favourite provincial park last weekend. This hill was RIDICULOUS to climb, but the view was worth it. A pine beetle nearly scared me off a cliff, and it rained on the last morning and soaked our stuff, but otherwise it was a pretty great trip.

PERSIANS

2010-07-25T13:01:00.005-03:00

Craig brought the persians home in parts - the icing came in a tub and that means we get to apply it in whatever amount we choose. No one can agree what flavour the icing is - Craig says cherry, we think raspberry, and some random chick on the internet says strawberry. Doesn't matter - it really just tastes like sugar.

The donut part is hard to describe. It has the texture of a raised donut, but the internal cinnamony swirliness of a cinnamon bun. They're usually much fluffier than this - they got a bit squashed in transit.

It's so good. I can't even describe how awesome a persian is, even if it's spent a day in someone's carry-on. And the best news is we have an entire tub of persian icing on hand! Will put some on a cookie.

Also in Craig's carry-on were a half-dozen wedges of Thunder Oak gouda. Bliss!

In other news, we removed the french doors between our living room and garage - check it out on the house blog, lookatourhouse.tumblr.com.

Happy Hundredth, Hoito!

2010-07-23T01:41:00.002-03:00

The Hoito Restaurant is 100 years old today - Ian Brown covered it in his Eats Canada feature last week. Will and I (and many eons ago, Tim and I) liked to take advantage of the cheap date night double whammy of Hoito and Hillcrest Park. As far as I know it's only closed twice in all those hundred years; the first was the snowstorm that closed the entire city except for the bingo hall, and the second was when their pipes burst. We discussed the Hoito in our History of Northern Ontario class at Laurentian because of its labour angle, and if memory serves the Finlandia Club is alluded to in Cato's story from In The Skin Of A Lion. There isn't a single place I can think of around here that inspires the kind of love I and so many others feel for the Hoito, and it reminds me that I am living just too far south. Craig was in the neighbourhood this week and has promised to bring us back some gouda and persians!

A Weekend In Pictures

2010-07-06T10:37:00.007-03:00

We were in New Brunswick last weekend for a wee vacation and the Brooks-Robinson nuptuals. We both forgot to pack cameras, so here's this instead:

We got an upgraded rental car again - this time a Maxima, which the large sticker on the window assures us is in fact a four door sports car:

We got there in the late afternoon, and walked into town from the hotel. On the way home it started raining, so we took shelter under the bridge. We decided not to go out and watch the fireworks that night.

The next day we saw some of the sights outside of Fredericton, like a massive train station in the middle of nowhere and the oldest woolen mill in Canada. We bought some nice skeins of wool:

After that, we headed to the Beaverbrook Gallery. That night, as luck would have it, we could see people on the other side of the river setting off fireworks in their various backyards.

The next morning we hit up the farmer's market and a potter's studio. Finally, it was time for the wedding!!

It was lovely and we had a great time.

The New Gig

2010-06-19T21:13:00.004-03:00

For the summer Mandy and I will be trading jobs - she'll be running my big branch and getting some management experience, and I will be taking on some reference responsibilities in addition to my duties as the new User Experience Librarian. In practical terms, that means I'll be preparing our Board, staff and customers for a new discovery layer for the OPAC (and with that all the non-librarian eyeballs glazed right over), but because it's all so new and undefined it could mean any number of other good things. So far I have the following suggestions:

hosting wild library parties
scratch n sniff books
bouncy castles
ball pits
space travel

Any thoughts?

The 50k...

2010-05-31T09:45:00.003-03:00

...was a bit of a bust, I'm afraid. I didn't finish. I got as far as kilometer 7 and then my [redacted], which has been [redacted] for the better part of a year, chose that moment to [redacted]. Which was disappointing - and painful - to say the least. I pulled out of the race and left the fun to everybody else. Will finished in about 3 hours and we both won door prizes and got free lunch, but it felt like a massive cheat since I'd barely even left the starting line before tanking out.

On the upside, my sunscreen shirt worked as advertised - Will's pink like a lobster and I'm still my regular colour everywhere the shirt was.

Kyla's Project

2010-05-04T19:25:00.003-03:00

My neighbour Kyla chose me as the subject of her Community Helpers project for school. Here's her awesome (and accurate!) shoebox library:

Here's a shot of the inside - check out the books on the circ desk!

Hee!! I love it. I shall refer to this post every time I have a "I hate my job" day.

The McMini Training Plan

2010-04-18T22:00:00.004-03:00

The 50km bike ride is coming up fast, and we've seen the route and it's got its share of hills. Fortunately, we live in a hilly place! We've instituted a rewards-based incentive plan to egg us on to awesomeness. For every milestone passed, we get a McMini - crispy Thai for me, grilled Thai for Will because he's watching his figure. Here's how the scheme plays out:

Get up the 4th Line hill (2k long) - get a McMini
Get up the 1st hill on the 5th Line - get a McMini
Get up the 1st AND 2nd hills on the 5th Line - get a McMini
Get all the way up the insane airport hill, which is past vertical in spots I'm sure - get a McMini

I'm not counting on any more than three McMinis, but if we at least get that far we should be able to do the actual ride no problem. The last McMini would just be for bragging rights.

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG IT'S HERE!!!!

2010-03-25T21:00:00.001-03:00

http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/universal/scottpilgrimvstheworld/

OMG!!

I'd tap that.

2010-03-15T22:31:00.004-03:00

Sarah's Cake

2010-03-11T21:37:00.003-04:00

You surgeried like a champ! Looking forward to hearing you sing again. Enjoy the pudding and baby food!

Making an Exception

2010-03-07T14:30:00.012-04:00

Did you guys see Joel Johnson's "Why I'm Funny" blog post this week? It was making the rounds of the tech blogs I read, and it was like a gut punch. It made me think about the confessional quality of a blog and what purpose keeping a blog serves for me.

I tend to avoid talking about things that are too personal on the blog, because it is a public thing. Anybody can look here and see what I'm up to, and to a point I'm okay with that. I'm also aware, dear reader, that you might not want to know all that much about me, content to know me in whatever capacity you do right now. I'm also okay with that, just so you know...and if that's the case, you should probably stop reading now.

I'm listening to Sparklehorse as I write this, having just discovered that Mark Linkous committed suicide. Now this is in direct contravention of my new rule, struck last year, that in spring I am not allowed to listen to singers who have committed suicide. As I have likely alluded to but never really stated explicitly, spring is my dangerous time. A nifty quirk of my physical makeup dictates that I will be somewhere between really really sad and completely suicidal once every 28 days, but it tends to be worse in April and May. It's been going on since I was 12 to the point where after all these years it's almost banal, but the constant low level turmoil of last spring coupled with Waltz #2 was the closest I've come to harming myself since the 'incident' when I was 14.

I think what I've enjoyed about keeping a blog is the idea that, even when I can't tolerate the thought of actually talking to someone but I feel like I need to connect somehow, I can put this little signal out and you read it and leave a comment to show you know I'm still here, sometimes months after I wrote it, which always tickles me. It's been one of several tiny lifelines and strategies to keep me in a safe place. Not nosy and demanding like Facebook; just there for you and I to enjoy whenever we feel like it, no pressure, no expectations.

Reading the comments on Joel's post was almost more interesting than the article itself. There was a sense that some of them had been waiting for someone to say he'd had the same experience so that they could finally say “yeah, me too”. Like having someone else pave the way was what they needed to feel free enough to confess as well. Depression fights dirty; it forces you away from the things you need to combat it, things like fresh air, exercise, a good hot shower, and laughing friends. Exposing it to the sun can't help but help, if you know what I mean. Maybe I can make it safer for you to say “me too”, if only to yourself.

There is a constant fear that it's going to win in the end. I think that's the scariest part, that no matter how successful and pulled together I may look on the outside, there's a reset button I need to keep pushing and if I miss even once all hell will break loose (this is a Lost reference, brotha). But there are lots of reasons for me to keep entering those numbers month after month – a Will who loves me, a family who knows me but still thinks I'm great (XO Mom), a Dad who needs me, and friends who make my days better. Also the sound of baby laughter, running on snowshoes, the joys of eating gherkin pickles, small gestures of kindness from strangers, holding hands and skipping, and a longstanding dream of a timber frame house on a lake with a kick ass fireplace. There are lots of reasons to live and to live well. For the most part, it actually is a wonderful life.

Eight Ender and also some other stuff

2010-02-20T12:07:00.005-04:00

We curl in a very VERY small club, and everyone else has been at it for years. We never win, and a loss of one or two for us is pretty awesome. But I have never been so happy to lose by a large margin in my life as I was last night. The other team had stones all around the very edge of the house, and with their last shot they nudged the last two in in for an eight ender. Final score - 14 to 5. We got out the camera and celebrated and then they bought us drinks. Good curling!

In other news, through the sheer force of repetition I might actually be starting to like the Olympic theme. It's the Family Guy effect - keep doing it long enough and it seems like a good idea again. For the first few days that tinny little repetitive line was like a shard of metal in my brain and I had ceased to care about the power of you and I.

I also need to vent my spleen about CTV coverage - gah! Bring back CBC PLEASE. I'm as happy to be Canadian as the next gal eh, but I want to hear about other country's athletes too. It's like they stole the NBC playbook, and I never liked American coverage specifically because it was too specific to the country. CBC did a great job of giving the bigger picture and I really miss it. Also, maybe my television is too old to be broadcasting and I just can't see it, but a little logo in the corner indicating "live" would be superhelpful.

Last thing - for the love of all that is holy, take your hat off when you're receiving the gold medal and they play our anthem. Hathead is a Canadian phenomenon too, and should be celebrated.

The Wizard Nook is no more! Huzzah!

2010-02-06T20:41:00.003-04:00

This was it before...

...and here it is now!

Who needs Facebook? Just bring the memes over to Blogger.

2010-02-01T23:50:00.004-04:00

I love that everyone's posting celebrity lookalike photos on the Facebook - it's a natty little window into people's psyches. Here's Buddy and me:

Font Geeks Rejoice!

2010-01-30T20:40:00.004-04:00

This is a cool little timewaster:

http://www.pentagram.com/what-type-are-you/

It helps you find the typeface that best matches your personality. I came up with Plastica, a nifty font that reminds me of Metropolis and art deco and all manner of coolness.

Our Woodpecker

2010-01-26T15:48:00.006-04:00

We have a woodpecker who hangs out on a nut n' seed ball in the backyard. He doesn't eat the seeds so much as gaze upon them rapturously for hours on end. Honestly, I wish you could see the expression on his face. He is truly in awe of that nut n' seed ball. I tried to take a video of him and upload it, but I can't get close enough to him to get a video with enough detail that it can be seen on Blogger's teensy video player. I will keep trying!

Pop Culture Logic Problem

2010-01-19T13:06:00.004-04:00

Discuss the following:

Tommy Wiseau : The Room :: Paul Janz : "Every Little Tear" video

For the proposition team - blonde women tearing things apart, man with dubious beard, oddly decorated red room, human beings acting in ways regular human beings probably wouldn't, those sunglasses and that hair (for more on the sunglasses, you have to refer to the flower shop scene not included in The Room's trailer. Go watch it. No really, I'll wait.).

For the opposition team - I have never once been able to get all the way through The Room (it's just too painfully bad) whereas I've probably listened to that song 100 times since I remembered it existed yesterday.

On a slightly related note, I convinced a child last weekend that the correct way to imitate a chicken was to go "ca-CAW ca-CAW" like GOB did on Arrested Development.

"‘Orient-man’ is not preferr’d nomenclature"

2010-01-09T01:36:00.001-04:00

Probably my favourite quote from Two Gentlemen of Lebowski:

"I have had a most rare vision. I have had a dream past the wit of man to say what dream it was. Methought I
waked to find I could be bound in a satchel of infinite space, only to trip upon a cloud, to fall eight miles high and tear my mind on a jagged sky. Most peculiar.
Then was I found by night-watch constable,
Who liked my jerkin not, and told me thus,
And cast me from his beach community.
And eagles gazed upon with every eye;
And O, I hate the cursèd eagles, man."

Turn of the Decade/200th Post Roundup

2010-01-01T00:23:00.003-04:00

William is in the back room sleeping off a nasty cold and I am unwilling to go to the party up the street if it means changing out of my jammies, so I shall be ringing in the new year from the comfort of the couch. So far there's only one thing looming on the horizon for us in 2010 but it's a doozy - we're signing up for the Spin The Lakes Cycle Tour next May. It's a little daunting for someone who's always maintained that a 4 inch wide bike seat wasn't meant to hold up a 20 inch wide butt, but it's good motivation to do something not directly related to our money pit.

As I wrote several million times on the Christmas cards, all the best to you and yours this holiday season. Happy 2010!

"This might get nasty."

2009-12-12T19:08:00.002-04:00

That's what Will said just before we cut through the pipe. I thought it was just a matter of some standing water that had been in there for a while. It wasn't until the smell hit that I realized, and Will realized I hadn't known previously, that the pipe was full of poo.

Let me say that again. The pipe we were cutting through was full of poo.

Predictably, it didn't stay in the pipe for long.

Sigh.

On the upside, we have our laundry sink installed and everything is cleaned up. But I'm pretty sure I'll have flashbacks for my entire life.

My Grill - now with 100% more metal!

2009-12-03T09:46:00.002-04:00

Because I caught every freaking cold or flu bug going around this year, I had to use vacation time for dental surgery. But it was TOTALLY WORTH IT because as of yesterday I have this nifty little doohickey buried in my jaw bone.

Let's rewind a sec - back when Will and I first got married, he was finishing up his last year of school and I was working three really crummy nursing jobs, all relief. We didn't have dental benefits of any kind, and I got the king of all toothaches. A dentist took pity on us and offered to pull the tooth on the cheap. Which was fine, but in the process he chipped all of my bottom front teeth. Moral: you get what you pay for. Fast forward twelve years and suddenly we have benefits galore and I can get a swanky replacement molar put in to keep my teeth from drifting.

Yesterday they installed the dental equivalent of a drywall anchor, and if it heals up well (fingers crossed!) I'll have my new tooth in a few months. It looks like the hatch from Lost is embedded in my gum. The best part was that he had to use a ton of freezing and I spent much of the morning attempting to sing with a fat immobile tongue, to great effect.

William The Conqueror

2009-11-25T00:21:00.003-04:00

Spoiler alert: this post is not about my husband. It is about my car.

William H. Macy, my little beige Cavalier sedan, is the last man standing. A bunch of us all bought new cars in 2000 and by coincidence we all ended up with different makes and models. It was a de facto long term automobile study conducted in the real world and we totally rocked it. I was convinced Patrick's Echo would outlive them all, the Hellfish equivalent of Mr. Burns to our Grampa Simpson. He drove it more and in worse places than the rest of us combined, and it was a real contender, until suddenly it wasn't. After a quick trip to the shop Tom has announced WHM still has a couple of good months left - "it's not at death's door; it's just kind of hanging around on the porch trying to decide if it's going to ring the bell or not". I'm just hoping he makes it through the winter, but honestly, he doesn't owe me a thing.

Favourite memories, in no particular order:

"Let's wave at Mom" [thunk]
sleeping in the passenger's seat at Halfway Lake and being woken up by the park warden in his spiffy uniform, bringing hugs and breakfast
driving out to Frederick House Lake to see the northern lights
that one trip home from Charlie's sugar bush, listening to Sarah Harmer and thinking I couldn't possibly be happier

Just about the coolest thing I've ever heard

2009-11-17T19:43:00.003-04:00

If this is true, then it's AWESOME.

http://www.neatorama.com/2009/11/17/lung-flute-uses-sound-to-dislodge-mucous/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+Neatorama+(Neatorama)&utm_content=Bloglines

Imagine that - something so simple and yet so completely obscure. I freaking LOVE science.

Smelly Whack-a-Mole

2009-11-12T23:11:00.002-04:00

Here's a neat tidbit about our house - every time we eradicate an old nasty smell, a new one crops up. We've gone through smoke, mould, dust, and dead mouse, and right now we're trying to determine what smells vaguely like BO at the doorway. I can't wait to smell what comes after that...it's like olfactory Christmas.

On the upside, curling's just started up again and I got to legitimately say 'hurry' last week. It. Was. Awesome. And we were doing all right too, until I said I was amazed we were not embarrassing ourselves. Naturally, we started sucking immediately thereafter and lost miserably.
But losers don't buy drinks, so there's my silver lining.

And I'm off to the rodeo

2009-11-09T00:06:00.005-04:00

We've been regular visitors to the Royal Winter Fair these last few years, which we attend for the purpose of staring and pointing at the vastly underwhelming maple syrup display, but this is the first time we bought a ticket to the rodeo. As you can see in this picture, we were actually pretty close to the action. Between that, gawking at cows, and repeat visits to the free cheese samples (in order of favouriteness: Thornloe's Temiskaming, Woolwich's Fig, whatever Monforte was handing out, and Upper Canada's Niagara Gold), I'd say a good time was had by all.

Where the Wild Thing Is

2009-11-01T10:32:00.003-04:00

This was more fun than anyone has a right to have at work. My Max costume was totally easy to construct. I bought a cheap pair of coveralls from Princess Auto, Marilyn sewed the ears, and I made the tail, scary toes and buttons out of fleece. Wild rumpusing ensued.

Oh Noes!

2009-10-31T00:08:00.002-03:00

Layers of my Favourites in a Bowl?

2009-10-27T22:03:00.005-03:00

We stopped at Taco Bell KFC on the way home from the grocery store tonight, and on a whim I asked for a KFC Famous Bowl. They're the stuff of legend (NSFW) and I wanted to experience the phenomenon for myself.

It's supposed to look like this:

...aaaaand here's what mine looked like:

Failure bowl indeed.

What you're looking at is a handful of KFC chicken nuggets nestled in a bed of mashed potatoes with corn, gravy and melted cheese.

On the upside, that's KFC gravy and though I'm not a huge gravy fan I can get into that stuff. And I've always liked creamed corn and potato, and KFC has been my go-to food when I'm sick since I was small, so in theory this might have been a Secret Success.

Ah, what might have been. It was too salty, too rich, too fatty, too soggy, too much, and required an awkward "is this a fork or spoon food?" decision to be made on the fly. I ended up scraping the cheese and nuggets off to one side so I could enjoy the potato, corn and gravy unmolested.

Final grade: D-. The yummy potato-corn combo saved it from a full shameful F.

post-Whee

2009-10-24T19:58:00.003-03:00

OPLW is over, and not a moment too soon because I'm fresh out of energy. So the perfect antidote to being tired is, of course, to host a party that involves light demolition. Will got a head start today by ripping up the gazebo platform. I am going to forsake house stuff, choosing instead to spend the evening working on my excellent Hallowe'en costume. I have no idea why I ever bothered to shop anywhere else for costume stuff, because Princess Auto is totally rocking my dress-up world.

It's Funner If You Go "Whee"

2009-10-20T01:25:00.002-03:00

It's Ontario Public Library Week, which we traditionally celebrate by stuffing our program schedules to the point of busting. We had a big party tonight at the new branch of the library, which officially opens tomorrow (so you can well imagine how crazy last week was) with the book launch for Vanishing Girl by our Writer In Residence Shane Peacock, plus a week-long silent auction and book sale, the awards ceremony for our children's writing contest, our first Wii tournament, a class visit, the big craft sale on Saturday, a Friends meeting, and it's Count Week, so we're keeping records of every person through the door, every book used, etc. Wheeeeee!!!!

Ripping Up The Basement

2009-10-15T13:42:00.002-03:00

It's finally time! Upstairs is as prettied up as it's going to get before the weather turns bad, and we have to get the laundry stuff out of the uninsulated room with the Door To Nowhere and into the basement before the pipes freeze. That means exposing the electrical and plumbing in the basement, and THAT means the pry bars get a good workout!! All progress to be documented on lookatouthouse.tumblr.com. What it hasn't shown is that we've actually started unpacking, and that's a really nice feeling. The only downside - I know I put a bag of library books in a safe place so I'd be able to find them, and so far they haven't shown up yet. Any suggestions would be welcome.

Nuit Blanche 2009

2009-10-08T11:01:00.003-03:00

Here's us at Nuit Blanche last weekend.

For the record, I enjoy conceptual art more when it comes in sausage form. And the band at the end made my night.

More Proof I'm Old

2009-10-08T00:16:00.002-03:00

Flipping around the dial tonight, I stopped to watch a few minutes of a movie just because of how cheesy and old it looked. There was an ancient answering machine and a girl with bad hair and I was mid-chuckle over how dated it all was...

...until I realized it was Singles, one of the seminal grunge/Gen X cultural touchstones of my generation.

Sigh.

ProtoTwitter

2009-09-28T15:37:00.003-03:00

There's a guy here called Captain. He's an interesting character; I haven't actually met him, don't even know his real name, but he's the stuff of legend. He has this gigantic sign at the entrance to his place, and any time he wants to rant about something or vent his spleen, he paints the sign. I think this is brilliance. No 140-character limit (though realistically he's limited to 80-90 for optimal readability), room for illustrations, and very very public.

Questions are a burden to others, and so are bulleted lists

2009-09-23T11:03:00.007-03:00

We're four episodes from the end of The Prisoner and I am full of questions - if any of you can answer without giving anything away, please do. I'd look these up myself, but teh internets are a minefield of spoilers.

Why is it that other people could escape using the helicopter but No. 6 couldn't? Is there a range for remote control?
Why exactly did Rover kill the pseudo-No. 6 in such a convenient fashion? We haven't seen it kill anyone else, just 'wrangle' them.
The No. 2 position - what's the deal with that? Were those other No. 2s all temps for that one guy who was about to retire? If so, why don't we see the guy who took over for him ever again?
Does anyone else think No. 6 is a bit of a wanker?
What's the deal with the butler? He's No. 1, isn't he? (no wait, don't tell me)
Does anyone actually RIDE a penny farthing?

So far my favourite No. 2 is Leo McKern, but also notable are Derren "Jeff Goldblum" Nesbitt and Peter "MonkeyFist from Kim Possible" Wyngarde.

Yo Reader

2009-09-20T02:06:00.003-03:00

I'm really happy for you, I'ma let you finish this post, but lookatourhouse.tumblr.com is one of the best blogs of all time!

[awkward silence]

Speaking of the new #2 blog, Will and I have been mainlining The Prisoner all week in advance of the AMC remake. It's delightful to finally understand all of those bizarre Simpsons moments (e.g. "why is the exercise ball trying to kill Hans Moleman?"). We're watching it in broadcast order so it's a little messed up in terms of chronology, but that adds nicely to the confusion and paranoia. Though I'm usually a spoiler junkie I'm actually trying to get all the way through without knowing too much. I know what happens in the last scene of the original series, and I've seen the trailer for the new one which suggests what that scene ultimately meant, but how it all gets to there is still a mystery to me. The other mystery is why no one gently reminded Patrick McGoohan that he's not playing Lear - the rolled Rs when he's angry never fail to amuse. Will thinks the worst job in the Village would be riding on the slow camera teeter totter. I think it would have to be HR Coordinator; that place has a ridiculous turnover rate among senior staff.

The Finest Of The Seasons

2009-09-05T10:23:00.007-03:00

How I can tell fall is almost here:

morose-looking neighbourhood children
one of the trees in the back yard is already turning red
one of the others is covered in apples
I got the sweaters back out and wore them proudly (if a little sweatily) - I loves me some sweater action
this month's copy of Canadian Living arrived and it's full of hearty soup recipes, including one for - I am not making this up - pulled pork soup. Deal....with THAT.
and of course the big one. Sarah's going away to university. My little muffin, all growed up. Sigh.

So, on the docket for fall: finishing the painting of the main floor, putting the ensuite back together again, and demolishing the family room so we can park in it.

Mondegreened!

2009-08-31T12:19:00.003-03:00

Yep, I've been mondegreened again. This time the victim is "The Name of This Thing is Not Love" by Elvis Costello and the Imposters.

What I've been hearing:

"I can't take the bulls*** and I won't take a pill / So it tortures me still"

...which I think is brilliant, right up there with old cows taking their stand.

What I just figured out the line actually is:

"I can't take a potion and I won't take a pill"

I know, bit of a letdown, right? SO much better with bulls***. Either way, excellent piano work.

(BTW, thanks for your votes and encouragement re. the ugly kitchen. Fingers crossed!!)

Be Part Of The Solution!

2009-08-16T10:03:00.008-03:00

Help us, Dear Readers. You're our only hope.

IKEA is having an "Any Space Can Be Beautiful" contest - if enough people vote for your ugly space, they'll give you a new one. I've entered our kitchen and I'd like to solicit your votes. Apparently you can vote once a day, so please consider voting early and voting often. You can find it by looking for the tagline "Debra's Dated and a Little Sticky" (which makes me giggle every time I see it). The blurb describes the linoleum on the walls, sticky brown glaze on the cupboards, trim in odd places, and thick n chunky ceiling. Here are the pictures I submitted - I post these in the hopes that they will spur you on to action. They may not both be up on the IKEA site yet, but have patience.

The full shot, taken before we took possession. I blacked out anything belonging to the former owners. We've since pulled off all the cupboard doors so this is the only 'before' shot we've got.

A close-up of the sticky drawers, per request from Lynn:

A parting thought: this is the room where I make peach salsa and Will makes cinnamon buns. If you enjoy either of these signature treats, I trust you will find it in your heart to click and comment and spread the word so we can get back to making you yummy things. Thank you in advance.

UPDATE: the URL to vote for us is

http://www.anyspacecanbebeautiful.ca/?spaceID=3692&language=en

The House

2009-08-08T22:53:00.012-03:00

Here are some pics of the house. Bear in mind, it's a work in progress!

Will in the dining room, site of our trim-removing test. As you can see, the light is placed in such a way that it's virtually impossible for Will to walk past it without bashing himself.

This is a shot of the interior of the garage, which the former owners had converted into a family room. Yes, that's actual mulch and edging stone you see there. And that's the previously mentioned linoleum on the wall, a charming decorative quirk which is found in one out of every two rooms in this house (I know because I counted). One of our first major projects after we get the primer all on is to return the garage to its former glory.

The kitchen is still a bit yucky, but it's getting there. Harold installed a new range hood, and Marilyn spent hours cleaning the oven.

We're going to need a new one of these.

Here's me scraping the bathroom ceiling. Though it doesn't really show well in this picture, the ceiling goop has been applied like it was cake icing - it's very thick and stalactitey (stalagmitey?) and really holds the smell. Fortunately it's pretty easy to get rid of...

...because we have a whole lot more in the basement. Check out that wall - it's even been applied over the shelf brackets. Sigh.

So that's what we've got so far. Like I said, work in progress. In the positive column: we have been assured the place has good bones, and we can peck away at the aesthetic stuff as energy and funds allow. In the negative column: did I mention the wall linoleum is glued on really really well?

Baby Steps

2009-08-07T09:09:00.002-03:00

This house keeps giving new surprise after new surprise - just when we think it couldn't get worse, it does. Ben said, and I agree, that "the ugly is in the details". We're slowly peeling back layers of nicotine, gold wire trim, and inexplicably-placed linoleum, and have full confidence that the gem underneath will soon be visible. We've been using the dining room as a test case to see what we're up against for the rest of the house, and so far we've got all the trim off and no horrible surprises yet. The good news is that the ugly crown moulding is actually made of foam and comes off nicely. The bad news is that the floor trim is attached with a crazy strong adhesive (THIS they chose to secure well, not the wall shelves or anything load-bearing) and we will be requiring some drywall patches. But, as the blog title suggests, we are hanging our hopes on the idea that everything is possible if you take it one tiny step at a time.

In other news, Mike and Jana's wedding!! Will and I enjoyed three lovely days in Friendly Manitoba, complete with upgraded rental car that got us random thumbs-ups from strangers, repeated trips to the Ginger something-something cafe with Mo and her David (who, it turns out, knows a few of the folks I worked with at Laurentian), a trip to an inland desert, saskatoon berries, and of course a very joyous wedding day. Congratulations to the happy couple!

There's A Place For Us...Somewhere A Place For Us...

2009-07-22T09:20:00.002-03:00

A Confession

2009-07-21T23:45:00.005-03:00

Last week at work the IT guys were testing out my new sound system using a Doctor Who VHS tape I found in the book sale bin (full disclosure: it was Curse of the Fatal Death, the parody special featuring Rowan Atkinson as the Doctor) and John said "Who even watches this stuff?!" and I said "geeky people and the British", because I was too embarrassed to admit that before it was in the sale bin that tape was on my shelf at home.

Many good and well-meaning people have encouraged me to watch Doctor Who throughout my lifetime and I managed to scornfully (and when I was small, fearfully) avoid it until last year when Ed and Carin finally put the last nail in the coffin by telling me there was an episode set in a library. I tuned in, LOVED it, caught a handful of episodes towards the end of the last season, and was hooked. Since then I've been watching episodes online when no one's been around to catch me. Yesterday Will caught me surreptitiously watching Torchwood 3 and I was forced to admit my shame.

So now that I'm out of the closet on this, I'm going to add one more question to my 'list of questions that tell me everything I could possibly want to know about anyone". Feel free to weigh in.

1. Cartoons: Walt Disney or Warner Bros?

2. Hepburns: Audrey or Katherine? (also acceptable: Mitch)

3. Captains Jack: Sparrow or Harkness?

At Long Last, Lodgings

2009-07-04T20:29:00.006-03:00

It's pretty official! So long as nothing goes completely wonky between now and July 30th, Will and I are homeowners.

This is a big deal.

In the 13 years we've been married, we have moved eleven times - Oliver Street, Hwy 61, Box 45, Pottinger Street, back to Box 45, Queen St., Huot/Hildegarde (that was one of the times we lived in different spots, so if you count when I moved from Hildegarde to the Huot that makes 12 for me), Southview Drive, Robie Street, so very briefly back to Box 45 that I don't think it should count, Wellington Street (aka "The Bad Part Of Cookstown"), and the Big House. That doesn't count the number of times Will spent parts of the year living out of his tent or at a provincial park (that's five summers/falls in all), and it doesn't count the fact that both of us spent at least a few months living at the Desimone's house, but not at the same time. Or the two months I lived at the LU dorm doing my practicum.

We've always said home is where the mattress is. I'm really hoping the mattress stays put for a while.

Scrubbing the Sausage, etc.

2009-06-24T22:46:00.010-03:00

We bought some pepperoni and debrocina at the farmers' market from a lovely elderly fellow who had questionable money/food handling/nose wiping skills, so we've given them all a good scrub and they're drying on the counter. Having never had the opportunity to handwash a cured meat product before, I can only hope it's still edible.

The house hunt may be drawing to a close. We've seen a LOT of houses and made offers on one that I loved (it broke my heart!) and one that Will really liked, but this is the only one that made both of us equally happy. August 4th is our last day in the big house and we gotta go somewhere; please cross any spare fingers for us. And if we appear on your doorstep around August 5th with a truckload, put on a pot of tea because we'll be staying for a while.

A Dark Day For Polka Enthusiasts Everywhere

2009-06-06T17:35:00.002-03:00

http://www.variety.com/article/VR1118004493.html?categoryid=16&cs=1

Walter Ostenak would roll over in his grave if he was dead. Jimmy Sturr and his Orchestra are doubtless crying into their comically oversized beer steins.

All together now - EIEIEIO...EIEIEIO...

"...and I, for one, welcome our new alien overlords"

2009-06-05T17:00:00.003-03:00

Is there any situation a Simpsons quote can't address?

The province weighed in on our little neighbours' squabble, and it looks like Barrie will be getting a chunk of us, but not necessarily the chunk they anticipated. Of course, lots can happen between the writing of the press release and the passing of the act, so I shall reserve judgement until it can be dispensed with vigor and/or vitriol, depending on how it all goes down.

In the meantime, the house hunt continues unabated...

The Obligatory Post-Conference Blog Post

2009-06-03T23:32:00.002-03:00

Will came with me to Montreal last weekend for CLA and in between all the sessiony goodness we managed to work in vast quantities of smoked meat sammies and poutine. Not nearly enough pastry was consumed, leaving us good reason to visit again. The highlights follow:

passing on the interest group to Janene, a most worthy successor!
seeing the peeps
train travel is a delight
good paths forward for the print disabilities paper we've been working on for the last year
I finally met Desiree Baron face to face after years of corresponding
Cirque du Soleil in a big blue and yellow striped tent
John's 'free like a puppy' analogy
happening upon an international food fair

As an aside: never in my life have I heard so much bossanova music played in public.

Notes on the House Hunt

2009-05-22T20:48:00.002-03:00

it is good when a house is cheap and serviceable; it is not good when one's husband cannot stand at his full height in the basement of said house
the gambrel is the Comic Sans of roof styles
it is possible to have five other houses bordering a single back yard
a knit touque is not an adequate stopper for a hole in duct work
if you have to enter the bathroom sideways, it's too narrow
the dimpled stuff goes on the OUTSIDE of the basement walls, not the inside
seriously, who puts unfinished wood paneling around the outside of a bathtub?
getting stuck in the water-sodden driveway = FAIL
also receiving the FAIL designation: anything that involves driving down Bayfield on a Friday
the waiting is the hardest part

Unrelated note: save my town! FairGrowth.ca

2009-05-18T18:07:00.002-03:00

Hey guys - help me out here. Craig found this out on an island that's often accessed by air as well as water. The 'bowl' is about a foot across, with the insignia on the convex surface. It looks kind of like a hub cap except there isn't anything inside to attach it to a wheel. The insignia kind of looks like a skull but not really. I've looked at various military insignia sites, tried TinEye, and did some general Google Image searches, but I'm coming up a bit dry. So my question is two-fold: can you either 1) tell me what this is or 2) point me to a site that would help me track it down?

Wherein Dave Wins

2009-05-14T22:38:00.006-03:00

Dave sent me this today - he made it on his Palm during a seminar in Guelph. And as an early birthday present he installed the Debra Mann Memorial Outhouse Door Curtain at the sugar bush, thereby securing his place for all time in the Birthday Sentiment Hall Of Fame.

Gold star, Mr. Mann. Gold star.

Unrelated Comments

2009-05-06T21:44:00.002-03:00

Comment 1: Janene throws a nice dinner party and is in desperate need of a corkscrew.

Comment 2: it's freaking expensive to have a family of raccoons professionally removed from beneath your porch.

Comment 3: if you're part of that thing that we're doing for that person, I'm sending that thing to that person on Friday, so if you're going to do something on that thing, do it now. (oooh, cryptic)

Comment 4: STAR TREK. That is all.

Bring On The Swine Flu

2009-04-27T22:02:00.003-03:00

Is it wrong that I get a bit giddy and excited whenever there's a possibility of a massive flu epidemic? I wrote my thesis on the 1918 pandemic and am a little obsessed with the whole idea. Dig this - in 1918 Toronto was pretty much the only place in Canada that even had a chance of staying afloat during a pandemic, as it was one of the few cities with a public health system, PLUS it had the military hospital and public and private hospitals to boot. And it took less than 6 days for it all to fall apart spectacularly. The only way the city pulled through was by 'conscripting' the women's war effort to coordinate and carry out the public health response (Mann, 2005). Cool, huh? So now I'm all aflutter! I got so excited I tricked out our emergency kit in case we have to hide out in the basement for a week or so. Squeeee!!
PS - in case of massive pandemic, don't come over. You can't have my beans and applesauce.

Why so quiet, Deb?

2009-04-20T13:58:00.005-03:00

Oh, you know. Sugar bush stuff mostly. But we're done for the season ('done' being a relative term, as we're done boiling but just starting the clean-up). Now it's all about fancying up the house we're in. The Williamsons are due back mid-summer, so our house hunt just got bumped up into the "important/urgent" quadrant and the pool-opening-lawn-spraying-chimney-sweeping-sump-burying-porch-painting-eco-auditing-garden-mulching funtasticness is about to begin in earnest. Sweeeeet.

In other news, here are some random quotes from the last month that I though were fun even without context:

"We're celebrating as only botanists can. With a conference!"

"No, no - you have to throw the badger underhand"

"Frankly Deb, I'm just impressed you can remember your name at this point"

"Gorillas would win, because they can throw things." "Like what - barrels?!"

"The Trickler - that should be your new nickname...[moment of reflection]...actually, that's a really bad nickname."

"What's with all the cars?" "Oh, the basement is full of babies." "?!!"

There was another good one from this weekend that escapes me - can anyone remember what it was?

Why have we never done this before?!

2009-04-05T23:03:00.003-03:00

Taffy! It's easy! We heated syrup up on a Coleman stove on the picnic table and poured it over what little clean snow we could find. Very tasty, and the leftovers were suitable for dipping strawberries in. Yum!

Hometown Shoutout?

2009-03-25T11:16:00.003-03:00

Did anyone else manage to make out the word on the Harvey's tray at the end of "How I Met Your Mother" this week? Did it say Bracebridge? Because if so, that's AWESOME.

Also? "Sturgeon...I don't think so, pal" and "Rick Moranis, the Reverse Rick Moranis, antique Judaica".

Pro and Con of Spin Class

2009-03-23T20:24:00.003-03:00

Pro: I can eat more chocolate and my pants will still fit

Con: AAAAAUUUUUGGGGHGHHHHHH THE PAIN

It gets worse...

2009-03-17T22:40:00.007-03:00

...yesterday I called a ladybug a sonofabitch.

I may be in need of some sort of intervention, or 'vacation', or something. Because that just seems waaaaay out of line.

(though, in my defence, it really WAS being a sonofabitch)

Items of Note

2009-03-15T17:08:00.005-03:00

Item the first: I have deleted my Twitter account after a full year of trying desperately to care, and failing.

Item the second: after drooling over the 'horse farm house' and waiting months for the price to come down to the point we might actually consider it (including two pathetic late night drive-bys) I finally had the chance to check the place out up close. It sucks, we wasted all that drool, and now I smell like open house. Gah.

Item the third: it's a beautiful day outside and I am inside watching Black Books, wondering if I'm slowly turning into Bernard and not being appalled at all by the idea.

What's that - my February blahs have finally arrived? Oh good. Just in time for March Break.

~sigh~

Wherein Deb Watches the Watchmen

2009-03-06T23:19:00.005-04:00

My thoughts on Watchmen - and spoilers ahead, so if you don't want me to ruin it please avoid this blog post like a raft made of the bloated bodies of the dead:

if Clay Aiken had a real bad run he'd look just like Walter Kovacs
I hated Laurie in the book, I hated Laurie in the movie - how in the world did she pass the audition?! She was Padme Amadala bad
oddly enough, I did not miss the squid
I did miss the Black Freighter bits though
I prefer Jeffrey Dean Morgan as a homicidal stooge to Jeffrey Dean Morgan as a ghost, but neither equal Jeffrey Dean Morgan as John Winchester
that certainly was a whole lotta blue male frontal nudity
I agree with AV Club - Oldboy has the definitive 'fighting up the hallway' scene
Carla Gugino is my new favourite

Getting to know me...

2009-02-27T17:36:00.002-04:00

Getting to know all about me...

I'm enrolled in a management training program at work for the month of March, and for part of it I had to do the Keirsey Temperament Sorter. It's like many of the personality and aptitude tests I've done where you have to decide whether, given the chance, you would rather work in a messy or tidy room, or compose a symphony vs. clean out a barn. Turns out I'm an Idealist of the Teacher variety (ENFJ for you Myers-Briggs types). That means I value relationships, am motivated by personal growth and integrity, and excel at communication and getting all up in people's biznezz.

Just for fun I dragged out the old COPS self-interpretation profile and guide that I did after getting canned from the flower shop and realizing I was an unskilled worker if I wasn't going back to nursing (too much information? Sorry, just communicating). That was back in 1999, before Timmins and Sudbury and Halifax and Will going half blind and Tom and Sarah growing up and Harold coming on board and all the Dad stuff and jobs and epic wins and a thousand little tragedies and that horrible year when everybody died, and you'd think over the course of a decade I'd have developed or changed or something.

But no.

I pretty much haven't changed at all. On the COPS test I got off-the-chart marks in communication, and the bits about my work preferences hold true to the one I just took.

So there you go. On some fundamental level, the more Deb changes, the more Deb remains the same.

(BTW, I think it's funny that Jayne and Sue both felt compelled to take their tests multiple times because they didn't like the results, and still ended up with the same answers. Let your freak flags fly, ladies.)

Fon-do!

2009-02-23T21:53:00.003-04:00

It doesn't sound like it would be awesome to eat tiny bits of food individually cooked over the course of hours, but of course it is. Dave road-tested a million dips, Carin decorated the mushrooms, everybody dug up their old pots, and we broke out the tiny long forks. It is safe to state that good times were had by all. Happy surprises: cinnamon bagel slices are great in caramel dip, mango chutney yogurt dip is the best thing ever, and scallops cook up quicker and better than all the other meats. Nasty surprises: vegetarians don't eat chicken stock, one should never put the person most likely to show up late in charge of bringing the fondue pot fuel, and the electric fondue pot works better when it's plugged in.

25 things you ALREADY know about me

2009-02-08T11:46:00.015-04:00

Because the only way to beat a meme is to sass back:

Why Will Wouldn't Have Stood a Chance in Jane Austen's Day

2009-02-02T16:17:00.006-04:00

Yesterday was a veg day, so I decided to cross yet another item off the 43 Things list and finally finished watching the entire PBS version of Pride and Prejudice. Will hadn't read the book and appeared to be watching it more than whatever he was doing on the computer. With a general synopsis of the plot and several "okay who's that guy?" and "are they talking about that girl from the last scene again?" housekeeping questions out of the way I figured we were gold. I could not have been more wrong.

Some background: when we were first married we had a very important fight in which Will said "Here's the deal - I can't read your mind. You have to SPELL IT OUT FOR ME." Since then we've had a pretty smooth ride. I know he's not much for the subtlety and would prefer that I just come out and say "I'm upset because that shirt is ugly and I don't want to stand next to you when you're wearing it". He may well still wear the shirt, and usually does, but at least everybody knows where they stand and there's no guessing or manipulation or "if you don't know why I'm mad I'm not going to tell you".

Jane Austen's era was pretty much the polar opposite of "say what you mean and spell it out". All the rules of polite society, the meanings of glances and sly sideways comments were lost on Will. By the time we'd gotten through the whole thing he was getting the hang of it - "that was a putdown, right?" - but it certainly took a while. And it's not like he's dumb; if anything, he's the perceptive one on our team. Just not when it came to subtlety in Regency England.

I'm not sure if there's any greater truth to be gleaned from any of this, other than that it's a really good thing we had that fight.

Conference anyone?

2009-01-27T23:14:00.004-04:00

I'll be at the Ontario Library Association Superconference (yep, that's what it's called) on Thurs. and Fri. This year our library's Evergreen launch will be name-checked ever so briefly in the Project Conifer overview on Thursday - apparently we're worth mention. Squee! On the downside, I'm anticipating a distinct lack of swag to be had at the trade show. In these tough economic times, a puffin-shaped stress squeezie likely isn't in the cards for any of us.

My mom's at a conference in the same venue tomorrow, so I asked her to hide a note for me somewhere. I love a challenge!!

The Tipping Point

2009-01-12T12:48:00.003-04:00

If you buy into the biblical notion that we get three score and ten years of existence, then the halfway point is thirty-five. Regardless of how long you get to be alive, thirty-five is kind of a compelling age to be turning. Thirty-five is the 'hump year' of your life - you aren't young anymore, but you're not barrelling down the other side of the hill either. It's your pinnacle moment, hovering up there, able to clearly see in all directions but fully aware that there's only one direction left from here on in.

Me and the rest of the class of '92, we'll be having our pinnacle moments this year, and in the spirit of said occasion I thought I'd post this list that's been circulating around for a while now. The idea is to bold the things you've done, italicize the things you want to do, leave plain the things you haven't and don't want to do. There are lots of things NOT on this list that I'd love to do too, but that's all over on 43 Things.

1. Started your own blog. - Ed. note - this should be self-evident
2. Slept under the stars.
3. Played in a band.
4. Visited Hawaii.
5. Watched a meteor shower.
6. Given more than you can afford to charity.
7. Been to Disneyland/world.
8. Climbed a mountain.
9. Held a praying mantis.
10. Sang a solo.
11. Bungee jumped.
12. Visited Paris.
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch.
15. Adopted a child.
16. Had food poisoning.
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty.
18. Grown your own vegetables.
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France.
20. Slept on an overnight train.
21. Had a pillow fight.
22. Hitch hiked.
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill. - Ed. note - define 'ill'. Is 'sick of work' ill?
24. Built a snow fort.
25. Held a lamb.
26. Gone skinny dipping.
27. Run a marathon.
28. Ridden a gondola in Venice.
29. Seen a total eclipse.
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset.
31. Hit a home run.
32. Been on a cruise.
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person.
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors.
35. Seen an Amish community.
36. Taught yourself a new language.
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied.
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person.
39. Gone rock climbing.
40. Seen Michelangelo's David in person.
41. Sung Karaoke. - ed. note - I am counting playing SingStar at Christmas
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt.
43. Bought a stranger a meal in a restaurant.
44. Visited Africa.
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight.
46. Been transported in an ambulance.
47. Had your portrait painted.
48. Gone deep sea fishing.
49. Seen the Sistine chapel in person.
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris. - Ed. note - does the second level count?
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling.
52. Kissed in the rain.
53. Played in the mud.
54. Gone to a drive-in theater.
55. Been in a movie.
56. Visited the Great Wall of China.
57. Started a business.
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia.
60. Served at a soup kitchen.
61. Sold Girl Scout cookies.
62. Gone whale watching.
63. Gotten flowers for no reason.
64. Donated blood. - Ed. note - I'm not allowed, because I have malaria. True story.
65. Gone sky diving.
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp.
67. Bounced a check.
68. Flown in a helicopter.
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy.
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial.
71. Eaten Caviar.

72. Pieced a quilt.
73. Stood in Times Square.
74. Toured the Everglades.
75. Been fired from a job.
76. Seen the Changing of the Guard in London.
77. Broken a bone. Ed. note - noses totally count.
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle.
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person.
80. Published a book.
81. Visited the Vatican.
82. Bought a brand new car.
83. Walked in Jerusalem.
84. Had your picture in the newspaper.
85. Read the entire Bible.
86. Visited the White House.
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating. Ed. note - not in sequence. I've caught fish and I've cleaned fish, but never cleaned a fish I caught.
88. Had chickenpox.
89. Saved someone's life.
90. Sat on a jury.
91. Met someone famous.
92. Joined a book club.
93. Lost a loved one.
94. Had a baby.
95. Seen the Alamo in person.
96. Swum in the Great Salt Lake.
97. Been involved in a law suit.
98. Owned a cell phone.
99. Been stung by a bee.